The War of All Wars

Today we look back on our history and see the blunders and successes of the world's great military leaders. But we forget about the battles which involve those greater than us, the ultimate battle of good and evil. Yes, I am talking about Moses and the Dinobots. The Great Moses-Dinobot war of 1587 shaped all civilization as we know it. This will guide you through one of the greatest battles in the history of the cosmos.

It started at a friendly get together Garden Party among the greats of the universe, attending were the likes of Buddha, Jesus, Winston Churchill Socrates, Moses, The Dinobots, Rodney Dangerfield, and Led Zeppelin was the entertainment. This seemingly lovely evening turned violent when Jesus and Moses overheard the Dinobots calling Jews money hungry, horned, desert dwellers. Jesus was infuriated but could do nothing because he's a skinny little bitch. Moses on the other hand is well trained in the art of Jujitsu, and helped Neapolitan personally conquer Europe with nothing but a pick axe and his mitts.



Moses knew he could do nothing at the party because Churchill was such a good speaker and would talk them out of fighting. So Moses knew his Jew cunning would have to lead him to war. While the Dinobots were hiding in a cave waiting for what historians believe was a Pizza delivery, Moses grabbed the 10 Commandments and smacked those bitch ass Dinobots exactly on the heads with the Commandment that says "Love thy neighbor." God also helped and struck a lighting bolt at the Dinobots and the Dinobots Photon Reacton guns didn't work after that. The Dino Bots and Moses along with a lighting bolt from god and some sandals thrown by Jesus every once in a while, battled for weeks. Those weeks turned into months, and than after it was all said and done The Grand Canyon was formed. It was nuts.

Today Dinobots and Moses share their posh Loft in Soho. Jesus stops by to raid their fridge and smoke their pot.